Big Boys Do Cry
It’s 1992, and I am a 32-year old Publicity Director at a network television station, promoting soap operas. It is a high drama and anxiety-provoking work environment – a soap opera of its own, where doors are slammed, backs are stabbed, and information is withheld.
And on a daily basis I feel like vomiting on the cold, cluttered steel desk where I sit. On most days, I am counting the hours until I can knock back a vodka when I get home.
After one particular mishap, and feeling pretty sure that I am about to be fired, I muster my courage and walk into the President of the Division’s office to beg to keep my job. With tears running down my eyes, I plead for another chance, giving all the reasons why I think I can succeed (in the most miserable job you can imagine). As I bare my soul, I can see how uncomfortable my boss is with my emotional display. Her arms are crossed against her blouse with the most intimidating shoulder pads I’ve ever seen.
She says she will think about it, but her face tells a different story. As I leave the office, she slams the door behind me – and I know at that moment, my fate is sealed. I can hear the coffin being nailed.
Crying – in the workplace – is a deal breaker. Big boys don’t cry. But I just did.
Today, I have a much different take. Big boys cry, and big girls cry, they feel shame, excitement, frustration, love, hope, fear. They feel everything. And good storytelling incorporates all those characters’ feelings and serves as a powerful hook to draw readers into your world and keep them there.
When characters emotions are vividly portrayed, readers become emotionally invested in their journey. They are a dashboard indicator, flashing red if we are being thwarted, glowing nicely if is all going to plan.
A few things to consider when crafting a story to help the audience experience the moment as though they were there:
Engage senses and emotions: It snowed -- Or, the snow melted on our tongues.
Include specific details: We had an appetizer -- Or, we had buttery escargot that made our mouths salivate with pleasure.
Show without telling: He loved her -- Or, he would always put his coat on her back to make sure she was warm,
Show Intuition: I knew without knowing. I felt a tingling in my hands, he hair on the back of my neck stood up.
Bring on the emotions! It’s where connection happens.